Video

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff settles down in front of the camera. His eyes are a little red, but he otherwise looks much calmer that he sounded yesterday.]

I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. I did not mean to alarm or anger anyone - I was not in my right mind when I learned Judas Iscariot found redemption.

[He says "Judas Iscariot" as though he has to force the name out, and it pains him.]

You may think I am a Zealot. Perhaps this is true, but it is not why I reacted as I did. Please understand that my reasons were more personal than simple dedication to 'scripture'.

I am calm now. I have had time to think and to talk to my friends. I have meditated. I have prayed.

[He pauses, then nods.]

When we came back from the island port, I told Persephone she had a stain, much like the seashell I found. It is her hatred of mortals. I have a similar stain: my hatred for Judas. I can't wash the stain from Persephone if I can't do it for myself.

Though I may not think he deserved to seek redemption, it is not my place to decide that. It is my place to find it in my heart to forgive him.

I can not do this yet. What I feel for him is too much for one day, or one week, or two-thousand years to wash it away. Time is not the only thing needed to heal this wound. But starting now, I will try to forgive him.

Please forgive me for the way I responded to this news.



[Private Video to Adam Monroe]

I am sorry I treated you and your love for him with disrespect. I have no doubt he changed as you say he did, because others say it, as well. But please understand it is hard for me to accept, because I was not there see him change; I only know the man he used to be, and the pain he caused.

I don't want my reaction to be your last memory of this place.

If he loves you, it will be the first thing I know of that he loved. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps love will be his redemption. You see? I am considering the possibility.

I hope you find happiness.

[Private to Edward Sexby]

If you are willing, I would like to talk to you about Judas.

Now that I am calm.


[Private to the Admiral]

Will Persephone be granted her deal when she graduates?

Comments

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

[A little bitchiness was all Omega needed.] We all have our demons. Indeed, the man, if you could call him that, who massacred my race was here for a time as an inmate. He didn't graduate, but given his nature, I'm not sure what made the Admiral think he could be.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I am wrong to feel as I do. Everyone has the chance for redemption within themselves.

It is still very difficult to accept.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

Right or wrong, you can't simply vanish the emotion when you recognise it as ill-borne. Accepting it shouldn't take a day, or answer a schedule, it takes as much time as it takes.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I know this.

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

I am certain that at least a few people on this crate have ranted on in similar fashion about me.

But it does not make them right to do so, or even accurate in their thoughts about me. Perhaps there was more to this man than you thought?

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I do not rant like that about people I do not know.

But you are right: perhaps there was more to him here. There was not when I knew him, but people can change.

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

Funny, it seems to be an incredibly common human habit from my point of view.

But perhaps that is because I don't see much to redeem humanity in general, especially these nights.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

You will find I am not like everyone else.

You are Dracula, right?

[takencareofyou.livejournal.com]

That's what you were yelling about yesterday?

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Yes. I was upset. I am sorry I yelled at you.

private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

Of course, sir, if you so wish.

What would you wish to talk about?

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

What was he like, when he was here? I know this question is very broad, but...What can you tell me of him? What did he learn here?

Did he...show regret? For what he did?

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

He was... he much desired the attention of others, from what I could see. He learned, more than anything, that he was a man, no more, and could change how he had acted.

As aye, he did regret it. He believed himself damned, and destined to be so.

Private

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

It's alright.

...you knew him back in your world, didn't you?

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Yes. I knew him.

But Martha Jones tells me I did not know the same Judas, so perhaps I did not. It is very confusing to me.

Private

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about it, confusing people is one of the things the Barge does best.

[Private]

[iamdrbailey.livejournal.com]

You're a better man than most, Levi called Biff. [She's so proud of you!]

[Private]

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I'm only trying to do what Joshua would want me to do.

Thank you for being there when I needed you, Mandy.

[Private]

[iamdrbailey.livejournal.com]

[She's pretty much figured out who Joshua has to be by now, and has her fangirling out of the way by now.]

You're doing exactly what He would want. He'd be proud of you, I'm sure.

You're welcome. [Pause. Damn. She doesn't really mind that from him.] You should know that a few things about me have changed since we had that talk during the flood. ...Besides the hair and losing those glasses, that is.

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

By trying, you are already better than most.

[ A flicker of a smile. ]

But that is what I've already expected you to do.

private;

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to be better. I am trying to help Persephone, and I can't do it if I am like this.

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

You have found your answer, then.

[darknessb4me]

[Shakes his head. Cute.]

You'd make a good paladin. Maybe a priest. Depends on how much you like to hit things with hammers.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I used to be a stonemason. Mallets are a type of hammer.

[Have a weak smile. He's trying.]

I didn't like it, though.

[darknessb4me]

[Shrug.]

Priest, then.

[IT'S A COMPLIMENT SORT OF? arthas' brain works weird.]