blesseddumbfuck: (Sin of Onan)
Levi who is called Biff ([personal profile] blesseddumbfuck) wrote2011-05-14 03:57 pm

Audio

[Biff sounds as though he's back to his cheerful self. If there's still something wrong regarding Judas, he's hiding it really well.]

I have taken down the flyers in the stairwells. If you are interested in nights of passion and strenuous sexual activity, you must inquire elsewhere. Preferably in a private communication to me over the network. I'll set up a social calendar.

I know many will object to my tactics, but as there is no way that I can afford to buy dinner for every woman on the ship, and there is nowhere to buy it anyway, I am cutting out the middle man.

Incidentally, I have learned that "safe sex" is a concern in the twentieth century. And that is not the "safe sex" which means "you must be healthy and have no back, neck, or heart problems to ride this ride". It means condoms.

I promise, the sex is safe. Very safe. Also, fun. Like a rollercoaster. I've never been on a rollercoaster, but I imagine they are fun. But not as fun as sex.

But here is my theory about rollercoasters: they have something to do with sex. Have you heard that one song?

[And he starts to sing "Love Rollercoaster" for a few lines, then breaks off, laughing.]

You get the idea.

[Pause.]

Also, I would like to speak to Jim Profit. I met your mother while she was here. How old are you, Jim?

[On a more serious note:]

I am sorry to hear about everyone who has been injured or killed. It doesn't matter the circumstances. Hurting is hard, and so is dying.



[Private to Persephone]

Persephone, I haven't heard from you since the end of the flood. I have tried to give you space, but now I think we should talk. Do you have time?

I have good news for you, even though I already told your mother. The Admiral has promised me you will receive your deal when you graduate.

Also, he gave me a cookie.

It was a little stale.


[Private to Bigger]

[Can you hear the shit-eating grin in his voice?]

Rollercoaster?

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-14 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, they were - but a gentleman does not kiss and tell.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-14 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes. Of course. I was only wondering if they were useful as a form of communication here, so: that's why I asked that.

[George is not a very good liar.]

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-14 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
It was a very good form of communication, but for my purpose, it also made people yell at me.

What is your name?

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-14 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I see. About the clutter, or the content?

Constable Crabtree. Constable George Crabtree.

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 11:31 am (UTC)(link)
Content. Dr. Bailey was afraid I wasn't practicing safe sex.

[Title and surname discarded!]

Hello, George. I am called Biff.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
That's very responsible of him. Diseases could very easily become epidemic here.

It's good to meet you...Biff.

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Her. Dr. Bailey is a woman.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Very modern of her, then.

It's exciting how many lady doctors there are here.
Edited 2011-05-15 20:49 (UTC)

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
They are all very wonderful. And pretty.

And also, they will yell at you.

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
If you put up flyers soliciting sex, they will yell about sexually transmitted diseases.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah. I would expect that of any doctor.

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think I have ever had a doctor yell at me about sexually transmitted diseases before.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-15 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Some doctors have a better bedside manner than others.

[identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Mandy has a very good bedside manner.

Also, she's pretty.

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Most women are.