Audio

May. 14th, 2011 03:57 pm
blesseddumbfuck: (Sin of Onan)
[personal profile] blesseddumbfuck
[Biff sounds as though he's back to his cheerful self. If there's still something wrong regarding Judas, he's hiding it really well.]

I have taken down the flyers in the stairwells. If you are interested in nights of passion and strenuous sexual activity, you must inquire elsewhere. Preferably in a private communication to me over the network. I'll set up a social calendar.

I know many will object to my tactics, but as there is no way that I can afford to buy dinner for every woman on the ship, and there is nowhere to buy it anyway, I am cutting out the middle man.

Incidentally, I have learned that "safe sex" is a concern in the twentieth century. And that is not the "safe sex" which means "you must be healthy and have no back, neck, or heart problems to ride this ride". It means condoms.

I promise, the sex is safe. Very safe. Also, fun. Like a rollercoaster. I've never been on a rollercoaster, but I imagine they are fun. But not as fun as sex.

But here is my theory about rollercoasters: they have something to do with sex. Have you heard that one song?

[And he starts to sing "Love Rollercoaster" for a few lines, then breaks off, laughing.]

You get the idea.

[Pause.]

Also, I would like to speak to Jim Profit. I met your mother while she was here. How old are you, Jim?

[On a more serious note:]

I am sorry to hear about everyone who has been injured or killed. It doesn't matter the circumstances. Hurting is hard, and so is dying.



[Private to Persephone]

Persephone, I haven't heard from you since the end of the flood. I have tried to give you space, but now I think we should talk. Do you have time?

I have good news for you, even though I already told your mother. The Admiral has promised me you will receive your deal when you graduate.

Also, he gave me a cookie.

It was a little stale.


[Private to Bigger]

[Can you hear the shit-eating grin in his voice?]

Rollercoaster?

Date: 2011-05-15 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crispycake.livejournal.com
Goin' around talkin' like that in front of everybody...

[He tries not to laugh, a weak smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.]

Man, girls don't even like that sorta thing...

Date: 2011-05-15 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
You know, I find that women like when you're honest. I am only being honest.

I do not want to fall in love. I want to get laid. Now everyone knows my intentions, there will be no confusion, and any woman who wishes to get her groove on without any expectations for commitment will know just where to go.

Date: 2011-05-16 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crispycake.livejournal.com
[He rolls his eyes, shaking his head and letting out a small laugh, followed by a lonnng sigh.]

Yea, well they don't like it so much back home...

[Not when Dally was honest with girls, anyway...]

Date: 2011-05-16 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
You're only sixteen. They want you to tell them you love them when they are also sixteen.

I'm telling you: Older women, Johnny. Older women. No games.

Date: 2011-05-17 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crispycake.livejournal.com
Alright, alright. I guess you'd know better'n me anyhow...

[He's still gonna laugh at you, though. :|]

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Levi who is called Biff

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