Audio

May. 14th, 2011 03:57 pm
blesseddumbfuck: (Sin of Onan)
[personal profile] blesseddumbfuck
[Biff sounds as though he's back to his cheerful self. If there's still something wrong regarding Judas, he's hiding it really well.]

I have taken down the flyers in the stairwells. If you are interested in nights of passion and strenuous sexual activity, you must inquire elsewhere. Preferably in a private communication to me over the network. I'll set up a social calendar.

I know many will object to my tactics, but as there is no way that I can afford to buy dinner for every woman on the ship, and there is nowhere to buy it anyway, I am cutting out the middle man.

Incidentally, I have learned that "safe sex" is a concern in the twentieth century. And that is not the "safe sex" which means "you must be healthy and have no back, neck, or heart problems to ride this ride". It means condoms.

I promise, the sex is safe. Very safe. Also, fun. Like a rollercoaster. I've never been on a rollercoaster, but I imagine they are fun. But not as fun as sex.

But here is my theory about rollercoasters: they have something to do with sex. Have you heard that one song?

[And he starts to sing "Love Rollercoaster" for a few lines, then breaks off, laughing.]

You get the idea.

[Pause.]

Also, I would like to speak to Jim Profit. I met your mother while she was here. How old are you, Jim?

[On a more serious note:]

I am sorry to hear about everyone who has been injured or killed. It doesn't matter the circumstances. Hurting is hard, and so is dying.



[Private to Persephone]

Persephone, I haven't heard from you since the end of the flood. I have tried to give you space, but now I think we should talk. Do you have time?

I have good news for you, even though I already told your mother. The Admiral has promised me you will receive your deal when you graduate.

Also, he gave me a cookie.

It was a little stale.


[Private to Bigger]

[Can you hear the shit-eating grin in his voice?]

Rollercoaster?

Date: 2011-05-15 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
[A few minutes later:]

Will you introduce me to Catwoman?

private;

Date: 2011-05-15 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
Filters, Biff. [ And then- ]

And no.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
I can only do that if I can go back to Gotham.

And I can't.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Why can't you go back to Gotham? You're Batman.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
[... ... ...]

Bruce, that's a spoiler.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
[ SO AMUSED LOLOL ]

You asked.

Re: Private

Date: 2011-05-15 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
I did. I'm sorry you're dead.

But now you've ruined every Batman for me forever, Bruce.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
Does it help if I say that I apparently come back eventually?

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
This is a spoiler, too!

...Is it the same trick Joshua used? Or Simon who is called Lazarus? Because Simon smelled very badly, Bruce. Very, very badly.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
... No. It wasn't. [ Pause. ]

I don't really understand it myself.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Maybe you're a zombie!

Zombie Batman.

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
[ LMAO THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN CANON. But it's a Batman clone and not Batman- and it happened twice. Lol comics. ]

... no. Being a ninja is enough pop culture for me. [ Wryly. ]

Re: Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Zombies are better than ninjas, Bruce.

[And so it starts.]

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
Biff.

I'm not going to argue that with you.

[ Except he's a spoilsport. ]

Re: Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Pirates are also better than ninjas.

[Suuuuulk.]

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
It goes like this:

Messiahs > Pirates > Zombies > Ninjas > Circus Clowns

Private

Date: 2011-05-15 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
Ninjas should be before pirates.

Re: Private

Date: 2011-05-15 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Pirates have pirate ships and peg legs. Ninjas have pajamas, Bruce. Pajamas.

Private

Date: 2011-05-16 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivestepsahead.livejournal.com
Ninjas are far more skilled.

Private

Date: 2011-05-16 12:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
It takes a lot of skill to be a pirate.

Profile

blesseddumbfuck: (Default)
Levi who is called Biff

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