Public

[blesseddumbfuck]

I would like to make an announcement.

I will be taking over in the greenhouses as supervising warden. But before I accept this responsibility, I have to make some rules. Very. Important. Rules.

First, no murdering in the greenhouses. I do not want to clean up blood. So if you murder someone, please do it somewhere else, like in the CES or the kitchen.

No, wait. Not the kitchen. The food is in there. That's not hygienic at all. The gym. Murder in the gym. Or in the library. Coyolxauhqui might even help you if -

Wait, wait, wait. Don't murder at all. Murder is wrong. No murdering. But especially no murdering in the greenhouses.

Second, no haunting the greenhouses. If you die and wish to haunt something, please haunt the infirmary or, better yet, the person who murdered you. But not the greenhouses.

Third, do not expel any body fluids in the greenhouses. No spitting, urinating, or Onanism. I will obey this rule, too.

I think that is all for now. I may have more later. Maybe I will make whimsical rules. You must sing while in the greenhouses, or do a little dance before coming in. Flowers are fun.

Comments

[get-thebook.livejournal.com]

I look forward to working with you.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I look forward to working with you, too!

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

With that rule, I'm inclined to start haunting the greenhouse, since I'm the only one who could conceivably do that.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Why would you break a rule this quick-

Omega, are you a ghost?!

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

We prefer the term 'corporally challenged'. [Seriously though:] I recreated this one, but I could leave it if I wished.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Please don't. That's weird.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

Don't make unnecessary rules, then. Because I doubt anyone else can do it and you certainly didn't know that I could. Unnecessary rules smacks of power madness. And we've sufficient number of those.

Also, 'weird' is not an insult, thank you.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was unnecessary...

Armand said it was possible.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

Armand was upset by the number of murders in the garden and recalled a superstition that the dead would haunt the location of their final moments.

This could follow apart from the fact that the murdered go back to inhabit their bodies as soon as they revive, thus no 'ghosts' would haunt the garden.

[Useless Comment]

[shortsghtedlove.livejournal.com]

[Frown. That does not sound happy. Is something up? Does he need to do something?]

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

...Please don't make whimsical Rules.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Don't you like singing, Eddie?

Don't worry. It was only a joke. But really, no murdering, haunting, or Onanism.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

I don't like unnecessary Rules. Or jokes about them, really.

I'd say those Rules were quite necessary, but you can hardly stop a pooka.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Why do you keep capitalizing the "r" in "rules"?

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Habit, I suppose.

At home, there's a lot of Rules and a very large Rulebook. I've never known it not to be capitalised.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I see. We have Laws. Capital "l". Some of them are silly.

You're going to have to remember that I like to laugh. Even about Laws and Rules.

Sometimes it's the only way to keep from crying, Eddie.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Except you'd think a Rule outlawing spoons would be funny.

Somehow, it just isn't, when you think about it.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

...It isn't funny. Spoons are important.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

More than you'd think.

[truth_is_cold]

Has there been many incidents of masturbation in the gardens?

[Good job, Rhade, get right to the important matters here.]

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

It's a preventative measure.

[truth_is_cold]

None of these seem to be problematic rules. I have no objections if I were to visit the greenhouse again.

[inhistorybooks]

Kinda sounds like you're gonna turn them into the set of a Disney movie with those last couple potential rules.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

No singing animals allowed. Not until I know how they all seem to know the words to every song without rehearsals.

[sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com]

What is Onanism?

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, Sirius. Good old Onanism. The Sin of Onan. Choking the chicken. Beating the bishop. Charming the snake. Choking the pope. Self-abuse of the best kind.





[If only he knew the HP series so he could steal Korrin's "whomping the willow".]

[sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com]

Flicking the wand. Taming the dragon. Do people actually do that in the gardens?

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I don't know. It's more precautionary, really. Just in case someone gets any funny ideas.

[Biff, for example.]

[sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com]

I solemnly swear not to wank in the gardens.

[goodgrasshopper]

[grin] I'll try to behave myself.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

But I don't want you to behave yourself.

[goodgrasshopper]

[laugh] Well, I can behave myself in the garden, at least.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

That should be acceptable.

Do you want to come and misbehave in my room?

Or watch television. We could watch television, too.

[goodgrasshopper]

I would love to come and misbehave in your room--or watch television. Or both.

[crispycake.livejournal.com]

Golly, Biff. You really do got a way with words.

[Rolling his eyes a bit, but smiling nonetheless.]

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I have the Gift of Tongues, Johnny.

[...]

[...]

[...]

Ask any girl I've known.

[crispycake.livejournal.com]

A-aw, c-come on Biff!

[He's laughing though, if only a bit.]

Goin' around, sayin' stuff like that...

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I really do have the Gift of Tongues. I just...can't resist. It's like a joke waiting for a punchline, isn't it?

[crispycake.livejournal.com]

[He let's out a little snort, stifling the rest of his laughter as best he can.]

I think that's just about right for most of what you say.

[private]

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

Well, I hope you're not restricting other sex acts in the garden! [He sounds entiiiirely too cheerful.]

I had design ideas that I was going to drop off with Armand, but since you're taking over I'll give them to you. I realized we had a few things missing from the gardens, and they're starting to become popular again so perhaps we could change that.

[private]

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

...Do you remember when I asked about how vampires urinate, Dracula? And you told me 'no'? I am going to assume you don't have other fluids. You can do other sex acts in the garden, if you want. I just don't want to clean up after people.

I'd be happy to look at your design ideas.

[private]

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

No, and I won't do any feeding in the gardens either.

Good, good. May we keep the designs between us for now? Considering how things have worked out I mean it as a bit of a surprise for various garden lovers.

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

If you need any help enforcing the rules, I will gladly help you out, Biff! As long as it's not during breakfast.

[persephonepearl.livejournal.com]

The plants would like it if people would sing.

I have been thinking, Levi-Biff. We should make plants from different worlds in the gardens. I have done this before for the Doctor and Narvin.