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Aug. 25th, 2011 01:15 pm
blesseddumbfuck: (Talking)
[personal profile] blesseddumbfuck
[Biff isn't cheerful today; he's wearing his most serious expression, though he hasn't been robbed of whatever genuine kindness he usually has when talking at length to the Barge.]

I want to talk about death. Or maybe compassion. Or both.

There is something I notice when we have so many new arrivals on the ship. Some of us who have been here for many months or years will tell the inmates that they're dead. Yes, it is true, we tell them that they have been given a second chance -

[He pauses, then holds up his hands.]

It is not a lecture. This is only me, talking.

[Sighing, Biff clasping his hands together as he tries to find a new starting point.]

Think of how you feel, to lose a loved one. Your sorrow is because you will never hear their voice again, never feel their hands or see their smile. That is a clean wound that will never heal.

Death is a terrible thing. It's natural, but it's terrible.

When we tell the inmates that they are dead, remember what that means. Think how they would feel, to come here and know they have lost everything. Think of all the adventures they will never have. Think of all the wine they will never taste, the food they will never eat. Think of the pretty girls who will never kiss them. The Barge gives us many things, but it isn't real life.

Life is over for many of them.

We should...at least learn their names before we become the bearers of such terrible news.

We should also consider these things before we raise our hands to kill one another, even if death isn't permanent here. You should not kill someone thinking they will come back.

One day, they might not.

[A beat. He moves on. His tone becomes dark and quiet, a far cry from the compassion he displayed a moment ago:]

I was a terrible person in that flood. I'm glad I stayed in my room.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-25 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
Yeah. 25 years today.

[He grins at that. Full on fucking grins.]

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Congratulations. I hear it's a very honorable field of work.

Of course, I've only known soldiers, and honor usually varied from person to person. I should tell you about Justus some time.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
It is. It's a really good job. Great job.

...who's Justus?

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Gaius Justus Gallicus. He was a centurion I knew.

Do you know those movies about the one good cop in the corrupt precinct? I think they're about Justus.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
[Blinks]

No, they're "Die Hard" and other films like that. The one good guy fighting against all the odds.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
No, not like that. [Laughter.] He was a good Roman.

But he served everyone. Not only his fellow soldiers or Caesar. Always did what he thought was right.

[Thoughtfully:]

He tried to be a good man.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
Never got embittered with the fucking system?

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
You would have to ask him. Maybe he did, in the end.

He tried to help us, you know. He risked a lot. Many soldiers would never have considered helping the Hebrews. But he did. Even if he was bitter, he tried to do what was right.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
Well. That's what cops are supposed to do. [Does he sound a little self-righteous? Maybe. Today is his day after all. He'll just pretend. For a day.]

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
[We're not thinking about it. Not thinking about it at all. Nope.]

It is the job of a peace officer to dispense justice of any way, shape, or form.

Never mind that nobody pays attention and people fuck with you every goddamn chance that you get. That you're a pig and a miser and a monster even if you're not a serial killer.

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
The job of a peace office should be keeping the peace. It's in the title and everything.

It seems like saying no one pays attention and people fuck with you is just an excuse to be angry and stop keeping the peace. If you look for people acting that way, you find them.

Even if it's not happening.

And that's how people become oppressed.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-26 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
[Frown.] I kept the peace. At the expense of my sanity.

...Wasn't always like that.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Were we talking about you? I thought we were talking about Justus.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
Hey, talk about one cop talk about all of us.

[Yeah, he is a douche that way.] What happened to this Justus guy?

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
I don't know.

I hope he lived to a very old age and died in his bed. He was a good man.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
[long pause]

You know, when I was a in the academy they always talked-

That's justice. Defending people. Punishing the guilty.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
'If we expect others to rely on our fairness and justice we must show that we rely on their fairness and justice.'

Something to think about.

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
That's very true, Hoffman. Very true.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
...Some might not be. I mean you aren't coming off as one no matter what the hell you're saying. Why put up with that? why not fight?

[Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com
Because fighting has a time and a place. Because they're only words.

Because I am a fuckstick, sometimes.

Because I don't like fighting if I don't have to. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Re: [Private]

Date: 2011-08-27 08:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com
You "love" everyone and you leave yourself open to being fucked with.

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blesseddumbfuck: (Default)
Levi who is called Biff

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