Video

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff settles down in front of the camera. His eyes are a little red, but he otherwise looks much calmer that he sounded yesterday.]

I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. I did not mean to alarm or anger anyone - I was not in my right mind when I learned Judas Iscariot found redemption.

[He says "Judas Iscariot" as though he has to force the name out, and it pains him.]

You may think I am a Zealot. Perhaps this is true, but it is not why I reacted as I did. Please understand that my reasons were more personal than simple dedication to 'scripture'.

I am calm now. I have had time to think and to talk to my friends. I have meditated. I have prayed.

[He pauses, then nods.]

When we came back from the island port, I told Persephone she had a stain, much like the seashell I found. It is her hatred of mortals. I have a similar stain: my hatred for Judas. I can't wash the stain from Persephone if I can't do it for myself.

Though I may not think he deserved to seek redemption, it is not my place to decide that. It is my place to find it in my heart to forgive him.

I can not do this yet. What I feel for him is too much for one day, or one week, or two-thousand years to wash it away. Time is not the only thing needed to heal this wound. But starting now, I will try to forgive him.

Please forgive me for the way I responded to this news.



[Private Video to Adam Monroe]

I am sorry I treated you and your love for him with disrespect. I have no doubt he changed as you say he did, because others say it, as well. But please understand it is hard for me to accept, because I was not there see him change; I only know the man he used to be, and the pain he caused.

I don't want my reaction to be your last memory of this place.

If he loves you, it will be the first thing I know of that he loved. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps love will be his redemption. You see? I am considering the possibility.

I hope you find happiness.

[Private to Edward Sexby]

If you are willing, I would like to talk to you about Judas.

Now that I am calm.


[Private to the Admiral]

Will Persephone be granted her deal when she graduates?

Comments

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

[A little bitchiness was all Omega needed.] We all have our demons. Indeed, the man, if you could call him that, who massacred my race was here for a time as an inmate. He didn't graduate, but given his nature, I'm not sure what made the Admiral think he could be.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I am wrong to feel as I do. Everyone has the chance for redemption within themselves.

It is still very difficult to accept.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

Right or wrong, you can't simply vanish the emotion when you recognise it as ill-borne. Accepting it shouldn't take a day, or answer a schedule, it takes as much time as it takes.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I know this.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

It looks like you're trying to rush it.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I am not trying to force myself to accept this. I am trying to open myself to the idea that I might be able to forgive him someday, because my friends have given me council on this, and they are good people. I listen to my friends.

Omega, you do not know me, and you are not my friend. I do not need your judgment for setting myself on the path I think is right. Again.