Video

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff settles down in front of the camera. His eyes are a little red, but he otherwise looks much calmer that he sounded yesterday.]

I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. I did not mean to alarm or anger anyone - I was not in my right mind when I learned Judas Iscariot found redemption.

[He says "Judas Iscariot" as though he has to force the name out, and it pains him.]

You may think I am a Zealot. Perhaps this is true, but it is not why I reacted as I did. Please understand that my reasons were more personal than simple dedication to 'scripture'.

I am calm now. I have had time to think and to talk to my friends. I have meditated. I have prayed.

[He pauses, then nods.]

When we came back from the island port, I told Persephone she had a stain, much like the seashell I found. It is her hatred of mortals. I have a similar stain: my hatred for Judas. I can't wash the stain from Persephone if I can't do it for myself.

Though I may not think he deserved to seek redemption, it is not my place to decide that. It is my place to find it in my heart to forgive him.

I can not do this yet. What I feel for him is too much for one day, or one week, or two-thousand years to wash it away. Time is not the only thing needed to heal this wound. But starting now, I will try to forgive him.

Please forgive me for the way I responded to this news.



[Private Video to Adam Monroe]

I am sorry I treated you and your love for him with disrespect. I have no doubt he changed as you say he did, because others say it, as well. But please understand it is hard for me to accept, because I was not there see him change; I only know the man he used to be, and the pain he caused.

I don't want my reaction to be your last memory of this place.

If he loves you, it will be the first thing I know of that he loved. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps love will be his redemption. You see? I am considering the possibility.

I hope you find happiness.

[Private to Edward Sexby]

If you are willing, I would like to talk to you about Judas.

Now that I am calm.


[Private to the Admiral]

Will Persephone be granted her deal when she graduates?

Comments

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Tell me about yourself? You were willing to warden him. What kind of man are you?

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I was... given him to warden.

I am a soldier. A Colonel in an Army I once believed in the principles of, but have since become disillusioned in with the General in charge, and attempted to assassinate him as a result.

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Did you want to be his warden? Did you...feel any connection with him?

Are you a good man?

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I... not at first. Within time, aye.

I was not, for a long time. I would like to think myself so now, but my crimes are still my own.

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Are you religious?

Do you mind these questions? I am only trying to make some sense of this. I do not know what else I can do.

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I was once raised Godly. The strictest of all Protestant doctrines. Belief in predestination, in constantly punishing yourself in worry that you were not saved, in the celebration of no day to do with God, as all days should be the same, and Christ does not warrant a birth-day party.


I have long since lost my faith.

I mind not any question, worry not, sir.

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I would lose my religion, too, if the doctrine of it said I could not celebrate Joshua's birthday. Chinese food is delicious.

How did you feel when you learned that he was Judas Iscariot?

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

We did believe every day was holy, and none was more special above the next.

I... was greatly troubled until I met him and talked to him on the subject.

private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

...Did he say anything about me?

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I... remember not your name. So no.

Re: private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I am Levi, who is called Biff.

Although, he might have called me 'Levi'.

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I... have not heard either name.

private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I see. Hm.

I would as you if you think he deserved to be redeemed, but if it is not my place to decide this, it is probably not yours, either.

I will think of more questions. Thank you for your patience with me.

Re: private

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

It is for God alone to decide, not you or I, but as I said previously, Judas Iscariot was but a man, and all men deserve to find redemption. Or have a chance at it.

Tis no matter, you are welcome to ask as you wish.