Video

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff settles down in front of the camera. His eyes are a little red, but he otherwise looks much calmer that he sounded yesterday.]

I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. I did not mean to alarm or anger anyone - I was not in my right mind when I learned Judas Iscariot found redemption.

[He says "Judas Iscariot" as though he has to force the name out, and it pains him.]

You may think I am a Zealot. Perhaps this is true, but it is not why I reacted as I did. Please understand that my reasons were more personal than simple dedication to 'scripture'.

I am calm now. I have had time to think and to talk to my friends. I have meditated. I have prayed.

[He pauses, then nods.]

When we came back from the island port, I told Persephone she had a stain, much like the seashell I found. It is her hatred of mortals. I have a similar stain: my hatred for Judas. I can't wash the stain from Persephone if I can't do it for myself.

Though I may not think he deserved to seek redemption, it is not my place to decide that. It is my place to find it in my heart to forgive him.

I can not do this yet. What I feel for him is too much for one day, or one week, or two-thousand years to wash it away. Time is not the only thing needed to heal this wound. But starting now, I will try to forgive him.

Please forgive me for the way I responded to this news.



[Private Video to Adam Monroe]

I am sorry I treated you and your love for him with disrespect. I have no doubt he changed as you say he did, because others say it, as well. But please understand it is hard for me to accept, because I was not there see him change; I only know the man he used to be, and the pain he caused.

I don't want my reaction to be your last memory of this place.

If he loves you, it will be the first thing I know of that he loved. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps love will be his redemption. You see? I am considering the possibility.

I hope you find happiness.

[Private to Edward Sexby]

If you are willing, I would like to talk to you about Judas.

Now that I am calm.


[Private to the Admiral]

Will Persephone be granted her deal when she graduates?

Comments

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

You have found your answer, then.

private;

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

The person in my who hates him isn't someone I want to be, and that's what is important.

I am not happy that he was here, and I am not happy that the wardens forgave him so easily, but this place is not about my happiness. I will try and talk to Sexby and find out what I can about Judas, and then I will try to accept that he could be redeemed.

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

You have to remember that the wardens here know him not like you do. For them, Joshua is an abstract concept. What Judas had taken from them cannot be compared to what he took from you.

[ He shakes his head. ]

It is not your happiness, but forcing yourself to accept a truth when it goes against all of your beliefs never leads to anything good.

private;

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

...Bruce, do you know that my people think that pork is unclean? We do not eat it. This is a belief. Joshua loved bacon. The truth is that bacon is actually very tasty. I eat bacon pizza.

My people also believe that Joshua is not the messiah, but the truth goes against that belief.

My life has been about accepting truth over belief.

If the truth is that Judas was able to change, and that he grieved and felt remorse for what he did, then all my beliefs do not matter. Truth is truth.