Video

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff settles down in front of the camera. His eyes are a little red, but he otherwise looks much calmer that he sounded yesterday.]

I am sorry for how I acted yesterday. I did not mean to alarm or anger anyone - I was not in my right mind when I learned Judas Iscariot found redemption.

[He says "Judas Iscariot" as though he has to force the name out, and it pains him.]

You may think I am a Zealot. Perhaps this is true, but it is not why I reacted as I did. Please understand that my reasons were more personal than simple dedication to 'scripture'.

I am calm now. I have had time to think and to talk to my friends. I have meditated. I have prayed.

[He pauses, then nods.]

When we came back from the island port, I told Persephone she had a stain, much like the seashell I found. It is her hatred of mortals. I have a similar stain: my hatred for Judas. I can't wash the stain from Persephone if I can't do it for myself.

Though I may not think he deserved to seek redemption, it is not my place to decide that. It is my place to find it in my heart to forgive him.

I can not do this yet. What I feel for him is too much for one day, or one week, or two-thousand years to wash it away. Time is not the only thing needed to heal this wound. But starting now, I will try to forgive him.

Please forgive me for the way I responded to this news.



[Private Video to Adam Monroe]

I am sorry I treated you and your love for him with disrespect. I have no doubt he changed as you say he did, because others say it, as well. But please understand it is hard for me to accept, because I was not there see him change; I only know the man he used to be, and the pain he caused.

I don't want my reaction to be your last memory of this place.

If he loves you, it will be the first thing I know of that he loved. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps love will be his redemption. You see? I am considering the possibility.

I hope you find happiness.

[Private to Edward Sexby]

If you are willing, I would like to talk to you about Judas.

Now that I am calm.


[Private to the Admiral]

Will Persephone be granted her deal when she graduates?

Comments

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

It is probably for the best if you don't pry.

I would be happy to tell you if she seems unhappy because of you. Should I tell her to tell me so that I can tell you? Does that make sense?

Really, you should cut out the middle man and she should just tell you when she is unhappy.

...That is not what women do, though. Or most men, either.

Re: Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

It seems the least that I can do.

No, no, I don't ask you to play our go between. Just...if you notice anything.

I will beg of her the bluntest honesty.

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Are you feeling better now? We have a plan, we have been laughing, you are fornicating with a goddess?

Re: Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

I...ehh..what a way of putting it!

Yes. Thank you; I am in your debt.

Re: Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

How else should I put it?

[Good job, Dracula. Guess what his favorite subject is.]

Hm. Let me think. I know many good euphemisms for Onanism, but I have never given sex much thought.

Wrestling. Using the chisel but not the mallet. Going the extra mile. Hiding the salami. Bumping uglies. The horizontal mambo. Getting laid. Getting lucky. Laying pipe. Practicing the rite of Venus. Making whoopee.

...I like "making whoopee". It sounds whimsical.

Re: Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

[He chuckles.] True, "lovemaking" seems the commonest euphemism around, though apparently that is supposed to bear a different quality than fucking. "Assignation" is dead common among the English back in my time.

You know that there are books on the subject in the library? I discovered a Taoist treatise on fucking while looking for the sequel to The Tao of Pooh.

[Yes, he just admitted to reading The Tao of Pooh..]

They had some very strange ideas, but I very liked one particular passage about helping ensure loyalty through extremely good sex.

Re: Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

[Something shiny!]

The Tao of Pooh?

Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

It is a simple little book about living quite simply, which uses examples from a series of children's books. I picked it up by accident and have read it a dozen times. I am returning it tomorrow if you would like to reserve it at the library.

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

I think I would enjoy it!

...I have my own copy of the Kama Sutra, if you would like to read that, next. I made the pictures, myself.

[No, really.]

Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

I...have not heard of such a book. Does it involve more cartoon bears?

Re: Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

No. It is not child-friendly.

You have never heard of the Kama Sutra?

Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

I am filling in the gaps in my education with regular study, but I seem to have missed that one thus far.

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

This will be very educational. You should study it with Persephone.

Private

[feels-no-love.livejournal.com]

...oh. Oh!

Well, if she enjoys that sort of reading, I gladly will.

Private

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

You are catching on!